You Look Wonderful, My Dear
by Zenith of Emotion
Summary: A The Birdcage fic. First one I've written. Sweet moment between Albert and Armand. Armand being a sweetie for once. Mentioning of toast. Gay coupling, crossdressersdrag queens, fluff, sweetness, Agador Sparticus. Please R&R! Enjoy. Thanks, Ylime.


Albert looked in the mirror and shuddered in horror as he realized what he had done. He had spent the entire last week shopping, looking for the perfect fabrics and designs for his costumes tonight. This performance was the most important one the Birdcage had had in a long time, and in all the excitement he had forgotten to schedule an appointment at the spa. His legs and arms were a mess, hair protruding from them making him feel more like Chewbacca than the gorgeous, free, womanly spirit he was supposed to be. What made things even worse was that he hadn't scheduled a hair appointment either, and now his dark, lush locks fell about all over the place, refusing to stay put where they belonged. Now, twelve hours from the performance, all Albert could think was that he was the most hideous woman ever to walk he face of the Earth.

Albert cringed as the door creaked open behind him and he flung himself down upon his bed. Plush satin sheets of soft pink responded to his desperate actions by folding lightly about his body, framing him in a light, sensual glow. Albert fought to restrain the small, salty droplets of sadness now forming in his eyes as footsteps echoed throughout his spacious room and a weight beside him on the bed confirmed that he had a visitor.

"Don't look at me!" Albert cried in sadness and fear as he hurried to shuffle away from the man beside him. A strong firm hand reached out and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back towards his visitor. The man looked down at Albert worried and picked him up in his arms, carefully setting him on his lap and cradling the distraught man in his arms.

"Shhh... what's wrong, Albert? You're crying..." A gentle hand stroked Albert's cheek and he shivered as he thought of what the man might see.

"Oh, Armand! It's horrible! I... I..." Albert burst into tears and buried his face into the silken clad chest of Armand, finding it warm and comforting in his wake.

"What? Did you pierce another piece of toast, my dear?" Armand's words came quietly and soothingly to Albert, urging him to calm his stream of tears.

"Well yes, but... Oh, Armand! Don't you see? I'm hideous!" Albert broke down in another torrent of tears as Armand looked down at him through an utterly shocked stare.

"My dear, dear Albert. How could you say you look hideous? You are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid my eyes on. Allow me to pull you back from my chest and ogle your beauty for all of eternity. Will that convince you of your beauty?" Armand smiled lovingly down at Albert and pulled him away from his chest to gaze deeply into his eyes.

"Armand!" Albert's voice was whiny, annoyed, and somewhat flattered. A layer of rosy pink was forming across his cheeks as Armand watched him, "This is no time to joke around! I only have twelve hours left to prepare! Do you know how little time that is?!"

Armand smiled down at Albert and leaned over, whispering as his face came to be only inches away from Albert's, "But I'm not joking, my Love." Armand smiled and then finished closing the gap between their faces. A small gasp came from Albert's throat as Armand crushed his mouth with his own, hot and greedy, yet refreshingly gentle and soothing. Armand turned Albert so that he was startling his waist and placed his hands gently, possessively on the drag queen's waist, drawing him closer. Albert laced his arms up around Armand's shoulders and opened his lips obediently as Armand's tongue begged for entrance. Armand explored the depths of his lover's mouth and relished in the sweet taste of his saliva mixing with another's. The kiss deepened as Armand leaned closer and when he finally pulled away Albert was gasping and his face was completely flushed from his desires. Armand looked Albert in the eye lovingly and smiled, speaking a little more loudly now, "Now do you believe me?" 

"Mmhm..." Albert nodded his understanding and blushed as Armand cocked an eyebrow and studied him to make sure he was telling the truth.

After a moment of indecision Armand picked Albert up, off his lap and placed him on the bed beside him, "There we go. Now hold on a second..." Armand grinned down at his confused lover and walked to the door, "Agador! Agador! Agador Sparticus! We need you here, now!!!" Armand called down the hall and hoped their butler (more of a maid) could hear him. Within seconds Agador Sparticus had come running into the room in his usual getup of high-heels, a v-neck t-shirt and a mini-skirt.

"Vat? Vat do you need me for?" Agador looked from Armand to the flustered Albert and back to Armand, cocking an eyebrow in suspense.

"Would you please get the rest of the Birdcage crew in here immediately? I want all of the makeup artists, every therapist, every possible person, other than our performers, in here helping my Albert... understood?" Armand eyed Agador expectantly.

"Yesa, sir!" Agador spun around and vanished out of sight. Within a minute he had returned with everyone he could possibly find and was instructing them on what they should be doing.

Armand walked over to the stunned Albert and leaned over to speak with him.

"Why? Why all this, just for me?" Albert looked at Armand expectantly.

Armand smiled and leaned over to whisper in Albert's ear, "Because I love you." Armand grinned and planted a quick, sweet good luck kiss on Albert's mouth before turning and swiftly gliding out of the room to tend to other details.

Albert sat there, oblivious to all the movement around him and touched his lips, and in that moment he realized something he hadn't before. He was, indeed, the luckiest girl alive. 

FIN


End file.
